I had an epiphany today: there is nothing familiar going on for me right now. I don’t know my family, I don't know my new friends well, I don’t know my old friends the way I used to, I don’t know my church, I don’t know my town. I don’t know anything anymore except for my husband and my kids. Praise God for my own little family. There are things about God I don’t know anymore either—things I thought I knew in the past and now I question. It’s not the most important things about God—I know He loves me, I know He’s faithful, I know He’s my Father. Things are just different than the things I always learned, and it confuses me.
What a weird place in life to be. I crave familiarity.
(By the way, this may sound melancholy, but that's not how I'm feeling--I promise I'm not feeling sorry for myself or anything, I'm just musing over some facts of life, and this is what I came up with today.)
6 years ago
1 comments:
On the contrary to what you may think Tara, I am a scheduled, routine, kind of person too. I like familiarity, etc. But some questions were raised a few years back that rocked me. What if the whole point is for us to never feel "at home" or "familiarized" here on earth? What if this is truly not our permanent residence? What if we, as Paul said, are truly aliens and foreigners on this land? What if, as Abraham, we are looking forward to a home that is not of this present world (Hebrews 11)? Now, don't get me wrong, familiarity is not bad. But if familiarity is our source of security or belonging, we will feel as if our foundation is constantly changing. Because life changes. Addresses change, relationships can be broken, we switch jobs, etc. But even though our views of God change, (and mine has drastically over the last few years), He never does! He is the same yesterday, today, and tomorrow. He is my rock! He is my familiar peice of life. I'm trying to take comfort in that. Yeah. Just rambling thoughts. Sorry for the extended deal. But, I feel better reminding myself of this.
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